Hereunder are my top ten tips for establishing new relationships. You can use whatever kind of client contact software you want to manage the process, but at the core it's all about how you present yourself and your company.

1. Get new business from old business: Obvious as it is, this old dictum is rarely practiced. Ask existing clients for more biz before you try to warm up stone cold leads. Especially ask those happy existing clients and customers for referrals to people they know that you don't. Be sure to keep track of who referred who.

2. Pitch yourself before you pitch a stranger: Like bad advertising, sales guys and marketers alike blow hot air in the faces of prospects. If someone did it to them, they'd feel insulted. Yet this blind spot persists in f2f (face-to-face) and mediated messaging.

3. Give it to me straight: No one has time for the "wind-up pitch." Prepare well-honed phrases and practice them in front of a mirror. If you get to the point, it will at the very least show you're focused on your agenda and proposition. When I'm approaching an advertising prospect for WDFM via email, I'll often give a brief salutation at the top and explain very briefly who I am, who referred me, and then say "The reason I'm writing you now..." I try to make sure the recipient doesn't have to scroll. Just seeing that the scroll bar isn't grayed tells them I get to the point tout de suite. People like and appreciate that.

4. Talk about your failures: Really. It builds credibility. I often tell prospective advertisers about a client I lost and why. It's such a change from the hyperbole they're used to hearing. In this particular case, I use the example to explain how that former advertiser had unrealistic expectations about response rates and to emphasize that they should look at their cost per lead instead of picking their expectation of a response rate out of thin air.

The honest account of how I lost an advertiser tells a story about realistic expectations, what to expect, and also says that I'm going to give them straight talk. Very often, prospects go with who they're comfortable with, rather than just price. You can't put a price on integrity.

5. Offer a "loss-leader:" People are less and less apt to buy impulsively from someone or some firm if they don't have a good feeling or any feeling about them. Offering a loss- leader allows a relationship to mature over time, which is especially important in B2B sales and considered purchase items in the consumer realm.

6. Get sold yourself: Pick the most successful competitors in your area and go through their sales process. Be extremely aware of how you are feeling during each step. Your inclination might be to be defensive inside, or judgmental, which is only because you are defensive. Put that away and allow yourself to be Joe Anybody and see why their approach works so well. Automakers buy each other's cars and break them down to nuts and bolts. You do the equivalent in your space.

7. Pitch an enemy: Find the most disagreeable son of a gun you can find and pitch him or her. Let them be as nasty as possible. Then analyze later whether anything they say has merit. Obviously you need to be totally dispassionate during this process. Don't defend anything. Just let them do what they do best, namely tear you apart. You might as well get something out of the relationship... ;)

8. Start an email newsletter: This harkens back to the loss-leader concept explained in Top Tip #5. Give them useful information week in and week out, or month in and month out. Make it so they say "Oh boy!" when they see your name in the "From" field. If they only hear from you when you want something, they will become habituated to turning you off whenever they hear from you or see your name, which means you are toast before you even get started.

9. Offer testimonials: Satisfied clients/customers can say things about you that you can never believably say about yourself. Make sure those testimonials give full attribution. "KM from Buffalo" isn't nearly as strong as the person's full name, company, title, etc.

10. Ask questions: This is probably the most underutilized tip of all. Simply allowing people to verbalize their needs is therapeutic for them and tells them you listen. It also helps you hone in on what points to make when it's your turn to talk. Ask follow-up questions to make sure you understand what they're saying.

11. Bonus Tip: Take notes and use those notes the next time you make contact. This has worked wonders for me. Of course, your target will realize you've taken notes from a conversation months or years previous. That's OK. It tells them you cared enough to do so and you're apt to continue to do so should they do business with you. Good luck.